“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your
thoughts.”
I didn’t believe this
statement before. All I believed was happiness is achieved when things around
you are doing just fine and you have nothing else to worry. But an event in my
life helped me to understand that happiness is achieved when one thinks happy
thoughts.
Ella. I couldn’t help but
smile whenever I remember her name. It simply resembles the vibrant colors of
the rainbow and the lush green grass in the fields that reminds me to be happy
even when my day gets gloomy.
I just could not forget the day I met her.
She stood at the corner
weeping. I didn’t know what to do. I left the other kids and went to help her.
I wondered what made her cry that way. I hugged her tight but she cried even
more. Her soft, still sobs turned into a loud wail. I panicked. Then I realized
it’s card day.
Card day is one of the most
important events to Sun Valley High Gradeschool. On that special day, parents
and guardians pause their businesses, take a leave from work, and gather at the
school halls to see their children’s grades. After such gathering, kids are
given a treat to their favorite dessert kiosks or ice cream houses. Some of
them spend family time fishing, swimming, baking with mom or playing Nintendo
with dad.
But to this 7-year-old girl,
card day seems to be an ordinary day. She was sent right away to the tutorial
center for her regular session.
I looked at her report card
and saw failing grades. Having a little patience, I got irritated. “Cry some
more, Ella! Cry some more! Just cry until the session ends, okay?” I muttered.
Stunned by what I said, she stopped crying. I was relieved.
I just don’t want to see or
hear someone cry. The sight could just draw me back to that horrible memory I
have.
I continued with the session
and gave them some drills. The whole session ended without me asking her what
exactly was wrong with her. And I knew I’ve been a rude tutor. I should have
not acted that way. But I was still hurt to care.
Three years after the
accident is enough to heal the wounds. But I was still grieving over the loss
of my family. Mom, Dad, and my sister, Jenna, were killed in a car crash on
that dark Sunday night. They came looking for me after jumping out the window
just to attend a party thrown by my friends. I, impulsive Tessa, went out
without parent’s permission. And It was not the first time I did that. I knew I
wasn’t a good daughter or a good example to my sister. When that Sunday night
came, guilt, regret, and frustration swept over me.
I was guilty for I knew that
because of me, they died. I regret for I did not follow my parents’ rules. And
lastly, I was frustrated for I know I could not turn back the time to make
things right. I was drowned in those emotions that I didn’t care enough to know
the girl’s problem.
Few days passed. I tried to
be nice to her. I promised to help her with her grades and she promised to
cooperate as well. We talked. She smiled. And that was one of the most
wonderful thing I saw. It gives me satisfaction.
Ella, an orphan girl, only
has grandma to take care of her. She has an older brother who lived in another
city who also has an aunt to assist him. She smiles and finds joy in every
simple thing she sees. She sings and talks a lot. A girl like her has more
stories to tell than I, who already existed 23 years in this world, never knew
any story. Perhaps, I just don’t want to tell her any.
Those are the things I
learned from her. Then all of a sudden, I felt the happiness within. The
happiness that even when things turn out bad, you still has to have it in your
heart.
Sometimes we would go to the
rooftop and whisper at the wind. She’s so odd. She taught me those unusual
things. But I liked it. I loved doing it.
Summer is coming and classes
are about to end. I saw Ella excel academically and I was so glad for that
progress. I’m going to miss her. As the last day of school approaches, I felt a
little pain, pain that I didn’t know why It’s there.
One day, she came to my desk
and gave me a box. “Teacher, I thank you for being so good to me. I give you
tulip to make you smile. I hope you like it.” It was artificial. And it has
something written on it.
"Each of us has a fire in our hearts for something... Find it and
keep it lit!"J
I looked at her, surprised. She smiled. And I never thought that that
smile could be the last.
Summer came. I spent my vacation in the
countryside. I gave myself a treat after the tragedies I had. I attended
retreats and seminars. These things helped me cut off whatever negative emotion
I had inside. I have to thank Ella for
this, I thought.
After the summer I hurriedly went to Sun
Valley High. It was enrollment time that I went to see the principal if she
already enrolled. But she has not enrolled yet. I waited for days. Then days
turned to weeks. Then weeks turned to months. Still, no Ella appeared. Until
one morning….
I heard a knock on my door. I saw an old
woman clutching a box. “Is this the home of Tessa Danes?” she asked. “Yes, I am
Tessa.” I invited her in. I was puzzled what brings the old woman in my house.
“My granddaughter wants to give this to
you.” It’s a box full of drawings. I was astonished to see how well she draws.
I took a look at them one by one. “Ella was right. You look a lot like her mom.
Each day Ella gives me a portrait of you in order to convince me that you
really look like her mom” Grandma confessed. I got silent.
“Where is she?” I inquired.
“She’s gone.”
I got confused. I was not satisfied by
her answer.
“Where is she?” I asked again.
“She died few weeks ago. She died of
Asthma. I didn’t get to see her that day until I went to her room. I thought
she was just sleeping but…” She stopped. Then she cried.
“I just want to thank you for helping
her and looking after her. You know I’m already old and could not manage taking
care of such a child that’s why I enrolled her to your class. And I think this
is all for now. Thank you.” The old woman left crying.
There I was. Seated. I didn’t know what and how to think. Tears just
could not fall down.
I brought the box and went to the rooftop where we used to go.
I opened the box once again and saw a pink paper.
“Teacher, few days from now im gonna see you again. I hope you had a
great summer. I have so many things to tell you. See you on the first day.
Be happy.
-
Ella
I cried and whispered
at the wind.
God, I thank you for sending
her. There are so much that she knew that I never knew. Or things I knew but I
don’t believe. She helped me think happy thoughts and I learned so much from
her. But im gonna miss her. I just couldn’t understand why you took her.
I cried until my eyes
were dry.
